My dog is weird.

Oliver is quite possibly the cutest dog in the world, but he is a persnickety little character. He is a gay Frenchman, after all. He loves to wear handkerchiefs, and if Oliver could talk, he would definitely have a thick French accent and be irritable about everything. A few months ago he decided that he is now too good for regular dog treats.

He seems to prefer fruits and veggies, as you can see:

Now every time I eat an apple, he looks at me longingly. Just like he is doing here with asparagus:

Doesn’t matter if it’s raw or cooked, Ollie likes it. I even caught him eating raw broccoli the other day. What dog does this? Oliver. That’s who.

Quasi-graphic side note: You know how your pee smells like asparagus after you eat it? My friend Heidi, who is a dietitian and the best source of random nutrition knowledge I know, tells me that, “asparagus contains aspartic acid that goes through the GI tract not metabolized so you pee it out.” Which makes me wonder, does Oliver’s pee smell like asparagus, too? Heidi seems to think so.